Apparently because he had the word ‘fuck’ in the title. Paradoxical because the article spoke precisely of how in this society everything is sold with sex. They make us believe that sex is indispensable for a healthy life and that we will not be able to access it unless we are thin, stylish, glamorous. So we spent a dough trying to be. Surgery, creams, hair removal, cosmetics, gyms, clothing …
When I learned how the article was destroyed, I suffered what has been called a “depression for success”. In Christian: the feeling of anxiety that invades you, when you have reached an achievement and you are afraid of not keeping up. And then I thought of Selena Gomez.
Selena exemplifies like no all the fabric of that consumer society: 115 million followers on Instagram . An account in which subliminally announces brands like Coca Cola. All negotiated via agent. That is, half a million dollars to go out in a photo with a bag and hang it on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Selena of course appears in every photo impeccably makeup and hairstyle, always glamorous and dressed brand.
But, as she relates, she was still pending. The fact that he had to be perfect at all times created an anxious anxiety: “As soon as I became the next person on Instagram, it became something that consumed me. It was the first thing I did when I got up and the last thing I did before I went to bed: check the account. Besides, I was already an insecure person but I became much more insecure because there were always haters willing to comment on my physical defects or insult me. She ended up in a clinic. Diagnosis: anxiety, depression and addiction to technology And for three months did not allow her to touch even a mobile. By the way, I do not know what physical defect they could point to. You have none.
On Instagram no one hangs pictures with dewlap and dark circles. Nor from her kitchen made a brothel on a Wednesday morning. You offer your best version, but not the most real. And you compete with people who in turn lie about themselves. The stress derived from such hyper-competence is obvious. The wonderful photos of some acquaintances provoke envy and feelings of inferiority. What we do not notice is the very high risk of forgetting who is one of truth, of losing one’s identity.
In the day to day envy is fed by the success, talent and possessions of others. In networks, envy fosters an illusion, something that does not really exist, something that the other makes you believe.
I will not refer to the infinity of studies from various universities that confirm that exposure to social networks depresses. The avalanche of evidence is overwhelming, as well as the proliferation of professionals and clinics similar to the one that hosted Selena, who offer therapies for detoxification of technology and social networks.
We all dream of being like Selena. Handsome, famous, thin, beloved, rich. It is not so much a real as induced desire: it is what we have been taught to desire. My mother, for example, did not want it. She was taught that the name of a decent woman should only appear in the newspapers on two occasions: the day of her wedding and the day of her funeral. That should be as discreet as possible, and not too thin. So when she married the wedding gown she had stuffed in her boobs and hips, although today she would probably say that he was overweight.
But it turns out that most of the most, most of all (the most beautiful, the thinnest, the most glamorous, the best paid and most followed) could not with it. Surely the waitress in the bar below my house, who is single, who is chubby, who wears clothes from the market, who does not charge 1,000 euros a month, and who has no Instagram account is much happier than Selena.
Because happiness is not how you look, not what you have, but how you feel. And that should be a real truth. But when we do not even know what we want, we forget what deep down we know.